Rugby's creative side

Oh, what boredom will drive the creative mind to:

A Rugby Supporter’s Lament

When toiling props, grunt and sweat,
Ruck, scrum, maul, a powerful threat.
When neck-less hookers push and throw,
Trundling onwards they will go.
When mountainous locks soar like kites,
Making threats and starting fights.
When crafty flankers stray offside,
Put hands on ball and tackle with pride.
When rampaging 8s carry the ball,
Striking fear to opposition, one and all.
Urging them forward I will be,
Arguing with the referee.

When scrum halves, miniature generals become,
Order their forwards, beat the drum.
When gliding fly halves show their class.
Pivot, scissor, dummy pass.
When centres duck and bob and weave,
Or crash past tackles and through gaps cleave.
When wingers t’wards the corner fly,
And viewing women swoon and sigh.
When fullbacks crunching tackles make,
And flying wingers’ bones they break.
There on the sideline I will be,
Pint in hand, celebrating victory.